he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
