Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize