I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Dear god my vagina.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize