It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
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A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
