I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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