so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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