You're a womanizer and a bitch.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
sarcasm needs its own font
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
