This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
