Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
