would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Randomize
