i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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