I could make wine with my vomit
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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