so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
