Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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