If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize
