plz talk dirty to me
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
