It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Randomize
