everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
