just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
