Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
