Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize