hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Don't make out with my wife yet
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
