I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
