I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
