i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
