hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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