mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Randomize
