Even the bartender felt bad for me
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
