I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
This girl is more easily done than said...
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
