Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
