i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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