if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
