some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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