maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Sext me about skeletons
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
