Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Randomize
