Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
