it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
