I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
