it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
