1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize