He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
