How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
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