normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
