so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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