you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
