Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
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