I seem to have left my pride at pride
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize