all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
