bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
