Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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