and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
