im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
