I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
