last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
ugly people sure do ruin things
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
