this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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