kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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