Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
