I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize