Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
