Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Randomize
