Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
