i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
