I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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