That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
