apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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