You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
