I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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