last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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