Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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