That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
We had sex on a dog bed..
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
