I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
