i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
