i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
