Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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